Crusin'

"Ber muda was discovered in....G44...1503 by Juan de Bermudez" remarked Alejandro in a deep Spanish accent as he was calling BINGO numbers. Alejandro was part of the Cruise Director's Staff aboard the Grandeur of the Seas. His dry sense of humor matched his hard to understanding English and made any event where he hosted that much more enjoyable. Of course, even in the middle of the ocean, I couldn't escape Halloween. Alejandro and his "Finish that Lyric" co-host were dressed accordingly - a drag queen and a redneck. It was a hilarious way to leave Baltimore behind.

My cruise comparison was not your typical 5-day Caribbean party ship - I was on the QM2 that sailed from Greece to England. This was my first Royal Caribbean experience and I was very impressed. The ship was old but clean and filled with plenty of on board activities. BINGO was my favorite since I can't get dollar signs out of my head. In the end, I walked away empty handed and $100 lighter but it was worth it just for Alejandro's horrible jokes.

"Do you want to hear a joke my friends?" "Two peanuts walk into a bar. One of them is a-salted".

Bobbie didn't get it until about 3 days later. She was on the edge of her seat, waiting for the punch line. Once she realized what he said, she bust out laughing. Priceless.

Many thanks for Juan de Bermudez for discovering Bermuda over 500 years ago - what an amazing place! There are incredible beach views from every angle, beautiful blue sky and teal water. Everywhere you turn, the view is better than the last. We only had a day and a half dock but it was just enough time to get a feeling for the island and what to do next time I go back. St. George's is a small, historical town filled with beaches, bays, churches and forts. We took a great little train ride and learned all about the history. For instance - their burial rituals. Similar to cemeteries in New Orleans, they bury above ground. Land in Bermuda is premium, of course since the island is only 21 miles long resulting in the need to "recycle" graves. I'll explain. Above-ground tombs are like little boxes with removable lids. The lids list the family in the tomb much like a headstone. The boxes are filled with remains for generations. Once the tomb becomes full, they remove and start again. I didn't catch what happens to the now removed and I didn't ask. I was practically puking out the side of the train by the time the Q&A portion came around.

Aside from the strange burial rituals, the island is beautiful and colorful. The streets are narrow, often times not looking wide enough for 2 cars, let alone double buses. The bus and ferry system is wonderful - clean, reliable and cheap. It will take you all over the island. Like most public transportation systems, there are no seat belts, but in Bermuda the streets are narrow, steep and close to a cliff which makes for an exiting ride. It's certainly the most exciting way to see Bermuda, unless you want a real thrill and rend a scooter to tackle the roads yourself.

Hamilton is the city-center which most Bermudan's working in but living outside the city limits. Hamilton used to be the main dockyard for cruise ships, but with ships getting bigger and bigger, most no longer fit in the harbor forcing the government to build a new dockyard at the far end of the island. This sudden shift in tourism caused Hamilton to become a day-time city with most shops closed by 6pm. You didn't really feel the British influence outside Hamilton, but walking down Church Street, you might as well be on any street Long. Look at the Capitol building you might as well be seeing something plucked from a London country town - not fitting with the rest of the Bermuda colors.

Beautiful warm weather only lasted a day and a half before the cold and wind of the Atlantic returned. This certain wasn't the Titanic - I didn't think I'd need a door to stay alive (no such luck in finding a Leo of my own - just a bunch of dad's screaming "I'm the King of the World"). Seas were rocking on the way out and home - combination of the ship size, time of year and open body of water.

Spending two days reading indoor poolside was the perfect vacation!

Compulsive Shopping

I've been searching the web for the past 2 months, researching laptops, processors, hard drives, memory, screen size, etc. I've logged at least 95 hours visiting manufactures homepages, building, re-building and re-building different (really the same) laptops. I'll admit, the last 2 weeks at my old job, I logged most of my paid hours on either Dell.com or HP.com.

I've read blogs, review sites, Wikipedia posts all in the name of technology to make a firm, sound and logically decision on a rather large purchase. Right when I had a good grip on which way I was leaning, Windows 7 launched. Wrench in the works! Windows 7 totally freaked me out. I mean, have you seen those MAC commericals where PC makes the same statement about the Windows operating system since 1982? Pretty convincing huh? Ok, I know the benefits of a MAC. Who under the age of 35 doesn't? No real viruses to speak of, excellent for editing pictures, light and easy to travel, but have you seen the price tag? YIKES!!! All you PC-haters are rolling your eyes, I know, I know, I know and I don't want to hear it. I'm convinced there are two kinds of people - PCs and MACs. MAC commericals don't like, but I just couldn't take the leap. I don't need all the bells and whistles of a MAC (I'm not Michelle Wise, after all). I just need a reliable laptop, wireless internet with a good screen and software compatible with the 1090 software used at Goodwill. After writing that sentence, I'm thinking I'd be better off with my 2003 Dell with XP and no Microsoft Office!

After ready more web posts, reviews, blogs, watching Windows videos and tuning out MAC commericals, I made the decision that Windows 7 will be ok and an HP is better suited for me than a Dell. I ever convinced myself that I would wait until I cam back from vacation to purchase my new home office. For those of you who know me, I'm all about instant gratification. It was all settled! Enter a big-box retailer. Wrench in the works! A quick cruise through the computer section and about 25 minutes later, I was standing in the parking lot with a box.

I couldn't pass it up - it was an amazing deal; twice the memory, twice the hard drive, bigger screen, faster processor, Windows 7 and Microsoft Office. It was exactly that computer I wanted, but better and cheaper. Why is that? How could a big-box retailer be able to sell a superior machine at a cheaper price?

With the smoke still coming from my wallet from burning through so much cash, Bobbie said "You spent more time researching computers than when you bought your car. You went for a haircut and came home in a whole new car."

Well put.

The Grass is Always Greener...

The old saying always rings true, even in the smallest of situations. For those of faithful readers who don’t keep up with my Facebook statuses, I recently started a new job. After three-and-a-half years, I knew there would be some things I would miss; the basic comforts of a job are the hardest things to say good-bye to. You know what I’m talking about – knowing where corporate letterhead and post-its are, understanding how often inner-office mail is delivered, learning the name of the person who greets you every morning at the front desk, having to re-organize your desk, create new files and adjust to a different view.

I was as prepared to start this new adventure as possible; able to curb my anxiety dreams of having to learn a new personnel file system before my first day. I consider that prepared. I’m even doing really well with learning names. I think asking people to reintroduce themselves doesn’t make me seem incapable of remembering their names; after all, they only have to remember one new name. I have met close to sixty new people in the past seven days, remembering even a few I’ll consider a success – only 540 more to go!

It’s not until you start a new job when you really appreciate what you had at your old job, the ole’ grass is always greener scenario. Let me clarify one thing before you get your panties in a wedge – I’m not regretful for leaving my old job. It is certainly a place that I no longer desire to be involved with. Now that is all cleared up, there is one thing I miss is single restrooms.

My new job is housed in an old Baltimore City building on the corner of Redwood and South Street; we occupy all seven floors. For a non-profit organization with a South Street location (around the corner from the famous Hustler Club), I certainly wasn’t expecting such a nice chuck of real estate. The boardrooms and conference rooms are huge without a mix-match of chairs and standing room only for staff meetings. The cafeteria has twelve tables with seating for close to 50 people and spotless, no matter the time of day. My office is huge, with matching furniture (full size desk, double armoire with four file drawers and full legal size file cabinet). Not to mention that HR has our own storage/supply closet that is not slotted for a storage-to-office conversion if we add to our headcount. The only downside to this wonderful office space is, although they are located on each floor, is multiply stall restrooms.

I sort of have a thing with multiply stall restrooms that I assume stems back to my days at Lynchburg College, living in a dorm with a single hall bath. During my junior year and the age of the ever popular AIM instant messenger, I had a neighbor who was notorious for reading away messages, discovering your message read “in the shower”, pulling up some bench and catching up on the latest campus gossip. For anyone who has ever lived in a dorm with a single hall bath, you can understand that showers in those facilities are not very large or excessively private; not to mention living with a roommate, you only got twenty minutes of solitude a day. So, as a result of said neighbor, I have a deep appreciation for single restrooms.

It was an adjustment the first few days but something I figured I could live with; when compared it to all the pluses the job, people and organization have to offer, I didn’t give it a second thought. Last week, I was in the restroom, first stall, when I heard the restroom door open and in walks another employee who sits in a cubical near my office. She was standing at the sink rising out a bottle or something (it was hard to see exactly through the cracks). I thought to myself “Amanda, you are okay. She is just cleaning her bottle, she’ll finish and leave.” Then it happened.

“Angie is that you?” she asked. Of course, I didn’t respond.
“Angie, I’m talking to you. What are you doing?” I had to respond; I didn’t have a choice.
“Um, no Ruth, it’s Amanda.” I said, looking down at my shoes and hoping when I looked up she wouldn’t be peering through the cracks.
“Oh, hi Amanda! How’s your first week going? Are you getting settled in? Everyone here is so happy to have you onboard.” She continued to ramble like this for what seemed like thirty years. I politely grunted in agreement without trying to encourage such interaction in the future. Finally she said something like “Well, have a great day!” and left.

The grass is always greener…

Royalties...

ABC unleashed a hit business series sharing the ranks with such greats as The Apprentice; Shark Tank pairs 5 independent, multi-millionaire investors with novice business entrepreneurs who have to sell their business opportunity. Most have okay to better than okay ideas, but lack in the overall understanding of, not how business works, but how to create great wealth. I’m starting to think this isn’t so much a show about business, but more about money; cash is king.

Don’t get me wrong; this is reality TV, so of course some of the entrepreneurial opportunities are laughed right out of the room. A sticky pad for sticky pads?? An implanted bluetooth headset that requires you to charge your head at the end of each day??

Some of the ideas are really quite genius; Shakespeare turned into music, a foldable guitar, and a seatbelt sensor that won’t turn on your car unless your seatbelt is locked. I’m often amazed by the ideas that people come up with, the amount of personal money already invested and their overall lack of what to do next. The Sharks lay it out pretty clearly, either they are out (meaning your idea has too many financial risks, you haven’t done your due diligence homework or your idea is flat out insane) or they take your deal or they counter your deal in their minds, with a better deal. Remember, Sharks don’t want to be in the guitar manufacturing business; they want to make money!

Robert Herjavec, who sold his first company for $100 million and Daymon John, founder of FUBU clothing line, often counter the entrepreneurs with more aggressive offers, many times requesting control ownership of the company or 51%. As Barbara Corcoran, who has a five billion (that's with a B) dollar business, pointed out on last’s night episode, remember the difference between 50% and 51% is a partner where decisions are made together and someone who will call all the shots without you. Kevin O’Leary, who sold his business of educational software for 3.7 billion (that's with a B) dollars, explains that entrepreneurs with product patens should sell the rights to the product and negotiate royalty fees for long-term wealth. Kevin Harrington, the king of infomercials, often times agrees.

Royalties is where long-term, sustainable, hassle and risk free wealth stems from. The owner of LifeBelt should have sold the rights to his paten for between a quarter of a million to half a million dollars with a 2-3% royalty fees for each unit sold. What does that mean? That means, if Robert bought the rights, he would cut a check to Mr. LifeBelt for $500,000 and Robert is free to do what he wants with the product, but for each unit sold, he owes Mr. LifeBelt 2% of the sale price. Robert feels there is a market for this type of product but doesn’t want to be in the car accessory business, he wants to license the paten to car manufactures who will add the accessory stock to most models. In the licensing deal, Robert negotiates a royalty deal with the car manufacture for 6%. For each unit installed, Robert gets paid 6% of the unit sale price and turns around and sends a check to Mr. LifeBelt for 2%. Mr. LifeBelt doesn’t have to do a thing get the 2% check.

Okay, so 2% doesn’t sound like a lot, if each unit sells for $30.00, Mr. LifeBelt only gets 60 cents. Robert sells license to use the product to a car manufacture who installs the product in 2500 cars per week, earning Mr. LifeBelt $1500 a week, $78,000 a year, $2,340,000 in 30 years. I’m sure there are ways you can earn more money faster, but Mr. LifeBelt doesn’t have to do anything for his $78,000 income per year. He can sit at home watching HGTV all day, sleep until 3pm and walk the dogs. He doesn’t have to lift a finger and he’s making a decent yearly salary.

What happens if Robert tries to sell LifeBelt to car companies and no one bites? Mr. LifeBelt was already paid a half a million dollars for his idea; he’s been paid even if the product is flops, plus he’s not out any more cash, time or effort. Robert has all the hassle and all the risk. Mr. LifeBelt has his half a million dollars already in the bank! If Robert is successful, then Mr. LifeBelt makes more!

Royalty fees are with you until the day you die. Imagine the possibilities. Why don’t more of the entrepreneurs take these kinds of deals? Do you really want to be manufacturing seatbelt sensors in your basement for the next 30 years hoping to sell enough to make $2 million or do you wan to sit back, relax and let the cash roll in?

http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/shark-tank/index

Ms. Minto goes to Wegmans

The grocery store is an American institution. Only in America will you find such massive food venues that yield everything from fresh and organic vegetables to birdseed to Scotch tape. Most other cultures shop for groceries by visiting specialty shops such as butchers, cheese makers and wine shoppes, but not Americans! We shop for groceries just we shop for, well, everything else – one stop, multi-level, eye popping, mega malls. Growing up in small town America, I certainly wasn’t privy to high-class, mega supermarkets. I grew up grocery shopping with my grandmother, at our local ACME that honestly smelled like sour milk.

In 2005, Hunt Valley became the first Maryland home to the newest mega mall grocery store – Wegmans. This grocery store chain puts new meaning to the term supermarket. In 1930, just fourteen short years after John Wegman opened a fruit and vegetable company in upstate New York, he opened his first supermarket; 20,000 square-foot shopping floor plus an in-house cafeteria that sat 300. Wegmans’ belief that valued and cared for employees do their jobs better earned them the #2 spot on Fortune’s list of best 100 companies to work for in 2006; it’s ninth consecutive year listed. This is not your average grocery store or your average business model for that matter. Everything about a Wegmans shop is bigger, brighter and better than the shop around the corner. I suppose that is why American’s are willing to drive miles to their nearest not so neighborhood Wegmans.

Maybe it’s the allure of it’s 60-foot olive bar, the smell of fresh baking pizza in the café, or the ability to pick up a ready-to-serve Wegmans meal on your way home from work, pop it in the oven and consider dinner served that has millions of American consumers hooked on the Wegmans drug. For me, it’s the smaller two-tiered carts, the in-store flower shop, the do-it-yourself produce labeling and the hot chocolate complete with attachable cart cup holder that pulls at my grocery shopping heartstrings. I’m not, by any means, someone who gets a thrill out of grocery shopping; in fact, I would fathom this is my least favorite activity. Yet there is something about Wegmans, even with the crowds, the hoards of consumers looking for a bargain, screaming children and miles of walking, that makes grocery shopping a little bit better for me. They have a huge international foods section; not that international foods really appeal to my western taste buds, but they do sell Brazilin soda in 2-liter bottles.

If you’re a cheese buff, you must travel to your nearest Wegmans just to experience such a cheese masterpiece. If you can think of a type, style or country of origin for a cheese, chances are they have it. Maybe organics is more your thing; you’ll be wandering down the aisles like a mouse trapped in a maze picking up items such as organic chips, juice, powerbars. Still not convinced? How about your neighborhood butcher shop, fishmonger, Chinese buffet, bakery, sub shop, and café all without having to get caught in the rain?

At Wegmans, people rule, but not the ones your thinking of; the employees. A throw back to 1900’s America, where taking care of your workers builds loyalty, hard work and commitment, a belief and tradition since lost. If only more American companies valued their employees, the contribution they make just by showing up on time. Wegmans is doing something right where great customer service starts with how an employee feels about their job; how they are treated at works translates to the level of service received by the customer. Companies well known for horrible customer service should take a lesson from Wegmans. During my visit today, I discovered Wegmans going against their grain and introducing self-checkouts. This concept is certain not new to the grocery store industry, but innovative to a company who prides it’s brand on outstanding customer service.

With two-tier carts, self produce labeling and now self-checkouts, I’ll go grocery shopping all the time with no complaints, but only if we make the drive to Wegmans.

“My Autobiography” - Courtesy of various Facebook users

1. Where did you take your profile picture? At Target in Owings Mills
2. What exactly are you wearing right now? Black tank, green v-neck shirt, bright pink scarf, black suit and heels
3. What is your current problem? There isn’t enough space to clearly explain
4. What makes you happy most? Being at home with someone…
5. What are you listening to at the moment? The copier, well copying
6. Any celeb you would marry? Joshua Jackson, who doesn’t love Pacey Witter?
7. Name someone with the same birthday as you? Bill Maher
8. Ever sang in front of a large audience? Greek sign, but we mostly Mily Vinily’d it and laughed
9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? There was a microsoft clip art character that looked just like me…but I think she retired. I can’t find her anymore
10. Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows? Just Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… “Cheer up Charlie”
11. How many languages do you speak? Uno
12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away? William E. Appleby – 1983 – 2001
13. What’s your favorite band? DMB
14. What's something that really annoys you? People that don’t ask questions, just assume and make bad decisions

Chapter 1:===============

1. Middle name: Beth
2. Nicknames: Mints and Peeping Tom (don’t ask)
3. Current location: Office
4. Eye color: Brown

Chapter 2:===============

1. Do you live with your parent(s)? Negative
2. Do you get along with your parent(s): Best friends
3. Do you have any Siblings? Sister and brother

Chapter 3: Favorites===============

1. Ice Cream: Soft serve Chochlate in a waffle cone with rainbow sprinkles…what can I say, my sister owns and ice cream shop
2. Season: Winter
3. Shampoo/conditioner: Big Sexy Hair ;)

Chapter 4: Do You?===============

1. Dance in the shower? Nah
2. Do you write on your hand? Always carry a note pad
3. Call people back? Depends on how they sound on the message
4. Believe in love: Yes
5. Any bad habits: blow my nose in the shower

Chapter 5: Have You?===============

1. Sprained stuff: ankles, wrists
2. Broke a bone: fingers
3. Had physical therapy: yep
4. Gotten stitches: nope
5. Taken painkillers: Yes
6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling: neither, I can’t swim
7. Been stung by a bee: yes and I totally FEAKED out
8. Thrown up at the dentist: I avoid at all costs
9. Sworn in front of your parents: Of course
10. Had detention: I’m from New Jersey…what do you think?

Chapter 6: what/who was the last?===============

1. Movie: Brokedown Palace
2. Person to text? Alison
3. Person you called: Alisa
4. Person you hugged: Bobbie
5. Person you tackled: Kaydee
6. Person you talked to on Skype: Never have
7. Thing you touched? keys
8. Thing you ate? gum
9. Thing you drank: diet pepsi
10. Thing you said: “I wouldn’t drive to MDC everyday for a million dollars”

Chapter 7: Future===============

1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Not at here ;)
2. 10 years? Married with kiddies
3. In 50 years? Still in love
4. Where do you hope to live? Denver
5. Do you want to be famous? Just to the people close to me
6. Do you want children? sure
7. Will you have plastic surgery? Maybe, but I’m not telling on what ;)
   

Dos Equis and Human Resources...Only in 2009

Okay – so I read an HR blog every day, or as often as there is an update posted which comes to be via email just like my CNN breaking news alerts. I do this for a few reasons:
1) interesting reading to me, good topics that often raise my eyebrow
2) guest author’s which give a different voice to the writing keeping me panting for more
3) he/she (not sure if it’s a man or woman writing it) is just plain funny and you know how much I love humor

At 10:18am just when my case of the Monday’s started to hit its stride, I see the alert. I stop in mid-work load and click; I can’t wait to read it, can you tell I’m from the digital age of instant gratification. I open it and just the headline has me wanting more – The Most Interesting Person – In the HR World. I think to myself, “wait, I didn’t do an interview”. I read on, heat in Houston, humidity in Houston, dreaming of beer. I’m starting to wonder what this has to do with HR, after all, it’s not often that beer and HR share the same sentence! It’s about a Dos Equis ad series that has been airing nationally since earlier this year. Dos Equis – the cool labeled, green bottled beer that everyone loves to consume in mass quantities on Cinco Da Mayo (never been a supporter – my Mexican beer of choice will always be Corona)! I’m starting to believe that my blogger has a worse case of the Monday’s that I do, already planning out next weekend, which is a long FIVE days away!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bc0WjTT0Ps

I read on…

He/She spins it, quoting the ad series as inspiration to spoof the one-liners transforming it’s context to the HR world rather than the swave beer drinking Spaniard. One-liners, which after reading, re-reading and re-reading again, fit me like a glove, to the point where I’m laughing so much people walking by actually think I enjoy my job!

“Her perfume smells like hot dogs at the company picnic” – You know that’s true, even though Medifast doesn’t promote consuming multiply hot dogs due to the unhealthy contents.

“Her charm is so contagious, special health benefits coverage has been created for it” – It’s not cheap, but getting it pre-tax is a nice break.

“The police often question her, just to hear ER stories” – The people who work here know the truth behind this one.

“She’s a lover, not a fighter; but don’t tempt her with a late performance evaluation” – I spent the better part of the morning sending our reminders to managers – can I get a HELL YA!!

“She’s so good at her job, she made Donald Trump realize the need to fire his own children” – Think about working at an organization that along with the corporate org chart, they had you a family tree!

“Her career advice, “Find out what you don’t do well in life and then outsource it” – Get a contract, negotiate them to a below fair market price than try to slash it even further – remember HR contributes to the bottom line.
“Her reputation is expanding faster than HR pros on Twitter” – what I can say, people around here just know who to go to get stuff done, done right and done on time.

“If she were to give you directions to an interview, you’d never get lost, you’d arrive at least 5 minutes early and you’d already have landed the job” – have you ever noticed that sometimes my voice sounds like a cross between the Garmin navigation lady, your mother and your high school guidance counselor?

“She has read the Wall Street Journal, HR Magazine, Business Week and Fistful of Talent before the average HR person has turned on their Blackberry” – okay, so not everything on this list is true

“Her advice on HR life, “It’s never too early to start beefing up your LinkedIn profile” – Due to recent events, I decline to comment.

There you have it folks, the most interesting HR person in the world – ME! I wonder if we are all this interesting and exciting – I can think of one that isn’t. Courtesy of Fistful of Talent (www.fistfuloftalent.com)

The Pee-Pee Monster

Presley, my three and half year old Shih Tzu, have never really been potty trained. She spent the first few months in a cage in our basement, than our dog GiGi was put down. The thought of having a cute 6 month old puppy in a cage in the basement was too much to bear. Presley was sprung free. Since then she has had some ups and downs in the potty department, mostly resulting in accidents throughout our house, ruining the carpet in most rooms. As cute as she is, she has been known to squat and pee as you are yelling; she just looks at you like you’re the idiot! I’ve tried everything, including diapers and pajamas. Doggy diapers are a product available to the masses, but here’s a tip – baby diapers are MUCH cheaper – but you are responsible for cutting the tail hole. Presley’s run with diapers was long and then WHAM – she stopped peeing in the house! It worked. Of course, it wasn’t 100% fool-proof, she still had some accidents along the way, but the peeing in the house habit was defiantly broken.

Of so I thought.

Presley has been known to pee in the bed – something that my mother didn’t believe she was capable of until she peed in her bed! Take that Grandma. Diapers were never needed at Grandma’s, Presley never has accidents. I should have seen the writing on the wall, with the whole peeing in the bed situation. It was the start of Presley’s full regression into diapers and pajamas!

Every night for the past few nights, Presley has peed in her diaper, spent the night in her cage or both. She’s not getting the message, even with me pulling her arms in all directions to get her pajamas on at night. I feel like I should rent an airplane, you know the ones with those message flags dragging behind, that says PRESLEY – STOP PEEING, then I remember, Presley can’t read and Ellie would just bark at the airplane for hours.

At 28 years old, I always thought I was going to be changing diapers, but I thought it was going to be a baby, not a dog.

Amanda's Bucket List

X indicates I have done it. No X indicates I have not. Relatively simple. ( ) Gone on a blind date
( ) Donated Blood
(X) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
(X) Been to Hawaii
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
(X) Gone to Washington, DC
( ) Hugged a homeless person
(X) Swam in the ocean
( ) Swam with Stingrays
( ) Been sailing in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Ran a marathon
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Volunteered at a soup kitchen
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(X) Seen the Northern Lights
( ) Been Parasailing
(X) Been on TV
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
( ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) Fed an elephant
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Fired a gun
(X) Danced in the rain
( ) Been to the Opera
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Serenaded someone
( ) Seen a U.S. President in person
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
( ) Driven a race car
(X) Been to a National Museum
( ) Been to a Wax Museum
( ) Eaten caviar
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
(X) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
( ) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
(X) Seen the Grand Canyon
(X) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
(X) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
(X) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco cable car
(X) Been to Disneyland OR Disney World
( ) Truly believe in the power of prayer
( ) Been in a rain forest
(X) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing
(X) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
(X) Been to a Major League Baseball game
(X) Been to a National Football League game
( ) Swam with sharks
(X) Been White Water Rafting
(X) Written a book or screen play
( ) Ridden on a paddleboat down a river
( ) Gotten a tattoo

Suggestions welcome...

Some Kinda Festival

My intention this Sunday was to spend the day with Bobbie in Georgetown, a section of Washington DC, browse the shops, drink a coffee, go to a flea market and then take part in the DC Cherry Blossom Festival, which takes place around the tidal basin at Monument Alley. For the geography majors out there, Georgetown, or M Street in Georgetown is “across the river” from the Kennedy Center, and not exactly in walking distance from the tidal basin. Needless to say, we went into it knowing that we would have to park, at least once.

Here was the plan – yep, I know, we made one – scary. Leave the house at 7am, make the hour long drive into downtown DC and park the car in and around the tidal basin closest to the Cherry Blossom Festival. The GT flea market was the real reason for this Sunday outing since Bobbie has been reading the blog of some woman who lives in Alabama and gets all kinds of bargains at local flea markets. For whatever reason, Bobbie felt a Sunday flea market in DC was the best place to start. Looks like my summer Sunday’s are booked. This flea market started at 8:30am and apparently ended at 4pm, which was a piece of information that wasn’t shared with me until we got there. Our intention, park near the tidal basin, jump on the metro, zip over the GT for the flea market, a few hours of browsing and then back via metro to the tidal basin to stroll through the Cherry Blossoms and vela, right near the car. Arrive in DC about 8am with the idea that there would be plenty of parking since it was so early in the morning. Like who in their right mind is out of the house at 8am on the most beautiful Sunday this year after a week full of rain. THE ENTIRE CITY. I mean the place was packed! PACKED to the brim. Oh yeah, it was freaking Palm Sunday too!

Quick change of plans – drive to GT, park there and ditch the stroll though the Cherry Blossoms for a drive though the prestigious Kenwood neighborhood in Besethda, a neighborhood with Cherry Blossom lined streets, and where Richie Rich/Bobbie lived during high school. A very doable compromise since this was really her day not mine, I just wanted to go to Urban Outfitters on M Street. We found the flea market, which should have been reason enough to head home. Some old black guy wanted $225 for one bronze (most likely fake) sconce, which was a ‘today only deal’, down from the original $750. Needless to say, we left more or less empty handed. So we bailed, re-parked the car closer to M Street and started to walk – let the browsing begin. It’s only 11am and on Sunday’s shops on M Street open at noon. Fan-freaking-tastic. We decide to walk down by the river instead, taking in the architectural wonder that is GT. We go only to one shop, The Paper Source. Does that really sound like it can compete with Urban Outfitters? Right, one guess who wanted to go there? Not only was Bobbie starting to whine as she started to get ‘tired’, which is code for disappointed and board, she was hungry. A deadly combination. After some driving around looking for yet another parking space, we eat at one of the best Mexican places I’ve been too in a long time. Worth the fighting.

Will full bellies, it was on to view the Cherry Blossoms. Okay, if you’re not from DC or the DC area, as far north as Baltimore, you have no idea what a cherry blossom is, let alone why people worship these blooming tress. Yep, you read that right, Cherry Blossoms have nothing to do with cherries, but are simply ‘beautiful trees’ the bloom in the early spring. DC-ians go crazy for these, mostly the Korean population. They love to take pictures of their little Korean kids amongst the bring white-pinkish blossoms. The perfect Easter picture. Do Korean’s believe in Easter?

I’ve been to the prestigious Kenwood neighborhood before. Every now and again Bobbie grows nostalgic of the life she lived there. It’s a pretty neighborhood full of big houses in a colonial type setting. Very Bestheda, very Bobbie. As we approach the entrance to the neighborhood, we see a long line of cars and a police officer directing traffic. We should have taken that as a note and just headed home, but it’s not like we read the writing on the walls the entire day. We entered the neighborhood as instructed by the Montgomery County police and WHAM, to think the crowds at the tidal basin were bad – that had nothing on this place. Anyone who lived in Baltimore in summer of 2004 lived though the ‘Cicada Summer’ knows the feeling of opening your front door and getting smacked in the face with 500 buzzing wings. This was the same feeling but with people and small children in bike helmets. The streets were lined with parked cars, mostly on one side and a single lane of solid traffic right down the center, coupled with the droves of people who didn’t live in the neighborhood walking at a snails pace, taking in the beauty of the Cherry Blossoms. Yep, you guest it, lots of Koreans. People everywhere, just walking down the middle of the road, with little concern for the cars who just might have a reason to be the neighborhood – yeah right, none of them did. They were all like us, out for a Sunday drive, snapping pictures at every turn. There are little areas in the neighborhood, at the ends of streets or intersections of others, grassy medians, where the people just set up shop, complete with picnic lunches. It was amazing that a neighborhood would allow this to occur, on Palm Sunday to boot.

We stopped by an open house, of course a house that Bobbie was ‘dying’ to see inside, even though the outside was nothing to write home about. We luckily found an open spot almost right across from the house. We enter, only to have the smell of mothballs smack us right in the face – like a ton of bricks. The more of the house we walk through, the more it becomes clear that grandparents are living here. Mismatched furniture, resembling the lobby of a nursing home, different art pieces, resembling that of a Motel 6. Nightmare for sale. The house was big, somewhat large rooms and hallways, which the realtor was certain to point out, but what an odd layout. There was a jack-n-jill bathroom, which I totally love, with a separate shower and tub. Think it sounds great right? The tub was a kiddy-tub, short, low walls and square, certainly not something an adult could bath in without flooding the whole upstairs of the house! After reviewing the rest of the property, I picked up the flyer near the front door while the upstairs realtor made sure she asked me to ‘keep this place in mind, maybe for a friend or a co-worker’. As if she didn’t think I could afford the $2,295,000 price tag? What, did she log into my back account last night and check my balance? I felt like saying ‘Lady, I was about to put an offer in on this house, but the fact that you are going to make about $150,000 commission, I choose to keep looking’.

We dodged the swarms of people walking down the middle of the street and made our way out of the prestigious Kenwood neighborhood and headed home. Exhausted, but pleased with the day.

99% Success Rate

“I’m a third generation matchmaker with a 99% success rate”, says Patti Stanger, CEO of Millionaire’s Club, a LA based dating firm. Stanger, most recently known for her BRAVO hit show – The Millionaire Matchmaker, was the Director of Marketing for Great Expectations, one of the largest dating firms in the United States, prior to opening her club in 2000.

Has anyone seen this show? I don’t mean have you caught a quick few seconds while surfing the channel wave, but have you really seen this show? If you’ve seen this show, you’ll understand my borderline obsession with Patti Stanger.

First of all, she’s gorgeous! Tall, dark hair, carries herself with a air of instant confidence. I’m a pretty confident person, I don’t let situations intimidate me, and I can usually carry a conversation with just about anyone; what can I say, I’m an extravert. When I watch Patti in action, I think of her as a better version of myself. She has her shit together; not to mention her famous one-liners. I’m jealous of that, I’m not to big of person to admit it. I’ve had some good one-liners in my life, but most of them I steal from others and just insert them in to appropriate situations. I’ll take the credit though!

A list of one-liners, courtesy of Patti Stanger.

“Nobody likes a brag-a-sorous”
“Are you too much of a player to be a stayer?”
“Women are not gonna spread for you, unless you do it”
“It doesn’t cost anything to have manners”
“I come from a world of heavy hitters, where guys are super mega-wealthy”
“Ageism is a problem in America”
“He’s typical 90210 high school”
“You only have a short window to jump from flower to flower and see what’s pollinating”
“He picked the twins because they are twins – double the headlights”

Patti lays it out – she tells it like it is – no holding back. Sound familiar? I don’t think that’s a fatal flaw of mine, but an extremely endearing quality. True, you have to adjust to that level of honesty; it can be a lot to take, until you get to know me. I don’t think I’m presenting myself in the best light here; I’m a really great person. <>. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a strong person; knowing who you are, where you came from, where you want to go and who you want to take with you. I think that’s stopping being a kid and starting being an adult. WOW – big step.

Oh shit, did I just become a brag-a-sorous?

Personal Design Style

I was recently asked my personal interior design style. Since I’m renting right now, the current style of my house is not mine, but my roommate’s. This is clearly a difference of opinion for us. She is very traditional, antiques and “shabby chic”, where I’m one of two extremes – California Craftsman or Beachy.

California Craftsman
Have you ever seen The L Word? Bette and Tina’s house is California Craftsman and I LOVE IT! California Craftsman also called Craftsman Bungalow, has chunky, dark wood molding framing windows, block style railings and furniture, built-in bookcases, and benches, and stone fireplaces, often times off set by striking warm colors either with paint or art. Most California Craftsman homes have large planked, sometimes dark, wood flooring. I can see hurricane glass containers filled with candles on the mantle of the stone fireplace, large scale framed art from local and famous artists, and amazing lighting fixtures cascading warm light thought the space. California Craftsman is an amazing style and fits me like a glove. I love the concept of dark, rich woods, making a home feel warm and inviting, but casual at the same time. To me, it’s all about being causal. I’m one of the most causal people around. I’m attracted to casual. I love to spend the weekends in jeans, tee shirts and flip-flops. I’m causal, but not unkept or cheap – just check out my RL Polo collection. My roommate’s traditional and antique style just doesn’t mesh with causal and relaxed.

Beachy
I grew up one block from the ocean on a barrier island in south Jersey. By no means was my house a “beach house”; it didn’t have that beach house vibe, but I have salt water running though my veins and sand between my toes. The beachy style is full of light, airy colors, cool blues, greens and grays. Bedrooms are full of crisp, clean, white bedding. Great art, full of vibrant colors, of sailboats, lighthouses and sun sets. Wonderful accessories, candles and the feeling of rest and relaxation. A beach house should be easy to clean, easy to keep clean and full of light. It’s the ultimate causal feeling, usually with a great outdoor space that can be used for entertaining friends, family and kids. It’s a great feeling to set foot in a beach house and I want that feeling every time I walk through the door. It’s far different from California Craftsman but I think an amazing mix would a little bit of both.

I guess I do a good job of conveying my personal style to those in my life, because every person who has walked through my front door has said, “wow, this really isn’t your house”.

The Purchase of Presley

The start of my 25th year sparked many changes in my life; some might call it a “twenty-something crisis”. Thankfully, my birth year coincides with the calendar year so the events of the first few weeks are easy to remember.

Two days after I rang in the New Year, I started a new job. I left a terrible job situation as a Healthcare Recruiter/Staffing Coordinator for what I thought was much greener pastures as an HR Administrator; something more in my field, using what I will be paying off for the next 50 years. I had spent the last 3 weeks of my first job searching the Internet for teacup Maltese puppies. I know what you’re thinking, “they are paying you”. You know what I say to that, “not enough”. I found some amazingly cute puppies, all girls, big black eyes, pocket size; I could go on and on. I had discussed the possibility of purchasing a dog with my mom, who quickly convinced me that I shouldn’t. I agreed that I was years away from that decision.

The third weekend in January, I turned 25. YIKES! I more or less had a mental breakdown. Here was my “logic”. I just turned 25 – twenty-five; that means that half of my twenties were over - only a memory. The other half, well that meant I was almost THIRTY. That freaked me out. I remember standing in my bathroom, looking the mirror, thinking, “you are almost thirty”. I took that thought with me for the rest of the day. Every spare minute of that day, I thought, “you are almost thirty”.

The following weekend, after a week of thinking, “you are almost thirty”, I went to Starbucks for my usually cup o’ Joe and picked up the Baltimore Sun. I really just wanted to check the “for sale” ads for puppies. Of course, I found one very interesting. “Shih Tzu Puppies 4 Sale”. I looked at my roommate, read the ad aloud, she called the phone number, while I grabbed the keys and Gigi. The lady who placed the ad said that she had already spoken to someone who was coming down that same day to get one of the females. “You know what,” she said, “first come, first serve”. Before we knew it, we were heading to the bank to withdraw some cash. Of course, animals are a cash only purchase.

We drove the 1+ distance to the address the lady had given us. We were supposed to call her when we were about 20 minutes away, but due to excitement, we both forgot. When we finally called she told us she actually had two females so we could have out pick. She also said that one of the females was red; I almost feel over with excitement. A female, red Shih Tzu puppy, what had I done to deserve this? That was the exact dog I had pictured in my head.

We followed the directions to the lady’s house; YIKES. We walked in the house that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in thirty years and the Christmas decorations that were still up, looked like they were from the thirties. She showed us to the kitchen, were the puppies were. She had a huge pen like thing set up in the middle of her kitchen; they were all in there. All but one were from the same litter. The “odd girl out” was sitting up against the wall of the pen while the others were running in circles around the pen. She tried to point to the other female, but she was running so fast, we had a hard time figuring out which one she was talking about. I picked up the “odd girl out”, but quickly put her back down; just didn’t feel the connection. I attempted to grab the other girl who was still playing with her brothers, it took me a few tries; she kept slipping through my fingers. Finally, I picked her up, looked at her face with her tongue hanging out and her stinky breath, and said, with 100% confidence, “I’ll take this one”. A few minutes later, we were introducing her to Gigi. About 15 minutes later, my roommate looked at me and said, “what are you going to name her?” “Presley,” I responded with confidence.

The following weekend, we packed up my Jeep with myself, my roommate and our now two dogs and headed back to NJ to help my family move from their house on the island to their new house on the mainland. They were leaving behind over 30 years of memories, so I figured I would come home and help. I didn’t exactly tell my mother that I was bringing home my newest bundle of joy! We met my mom at the new house so she could meet my roommate for the first time. There I was, standing in the empty dining room with baby Presley in my arms when my mom walked in and caught a quick glimpse. “Amanda, what a big responsibility.” She had nothing else to say about Presley, except “yes, she’s cute, but what a big responsibility”.

Here we are three years later. Not such a big responsibility!

Thought provoking questions

There is no hidden meaning to this list of questions. You don’t need to answer the questions, divide your answers by 12, multiply by 1,000 and you will get the date of your wedding. You don’t need to make a wish and send this list to 2700 people in order for that wish to come true. Just read the questions, send some time thinking about yourself and answer them honestly (in your head). You might just learn something about yourself.

Pepsi or Coke?
Diet or regular?
Miller Lite or Bud Lite?
Corona or vodka cranberry?
Dog or cat?
Townhouse or apartment?
Love or lust?
Long distance or ability to drop over with coffee?
Chi latte or café mocha?
CNN or MSNBC?
Today Show or Good Morning America?
Kelly or Kathy Lee?
Obama or Clinton?
Clinton or Palin?
Oil or Solar?
Las Vegas or Los Angeles?
Beach or Mountain?
East coast or west coast?
Kids or Pets?
Spend or Invest?
Bailout or bury?
Layoff or hours cut back?
Democracy or Dictator?
American Idol or America’s Got Talent?
Friends or Friends with benefits?
Mac or PC?
Cook or Archuleta?
Google or Ask.com?
Full name or nickname?
English or Spanish?
Text or Email?
Facebook or Twitter?
New York or Philly?
Pat’s or Genos? (only known if your from the greater Philly area)
Philllies or Yankess?
Real World or Road Rules?
Original or Sequel?
Canister vacuum or upright?
Retirement or Keep Working?
Reduce or Reuse?
Fireworks or Sparklers?
4th of July or Labor Day?
Sneakers or Tennis Shoes?
Air Force or Army?
Blackberry or iPhone?
Fun or Time Waster?

Songs

Music is one of the best things in the world, along with the usual; running water, indoor plumbing, electricity, the microwave, and reality tv. Apple’s iPod changed the way people listen to and appreciate music, but I’m not totally convinced it was one of those “without flaw” changes to mankind. Don’t get me wrong; I love my iPod as much as I love by blackberry and Fox’s Reality TV channel. But I miss the days of making mix cds (or tapes for my older readers). With mix cds you were able to share music with others, music that reminds of you a particular place or moment. Everyone has those memories and songs can bring you back to that memory in an instant. I love music, constantly searching for new artists and genres but with the iPod era it’s impossible to share my music selections with others. Your music selections, tastes and play lists are like a picture into your heart and head. Apple has stripped our ability to share music with others.

How many mix cds do you have? How many were given to you from friends or lovers? When you listen to them, don’t they bring you back to a particular place and time and evoke intense memories and feelings? I have about 7 mix cds that were gifts, each with a different feeling or memory in mind.

Mix cd #1 – Found on my car the morning I moved from NJ to MD. The songs are all about people leaving town, being needed to return, being missed and love lost. There was no note attached to the cd I found that morning – just labeled “Amanda’s mix”. I was driving the long 4 hours to my new house alone in my then VW Beatle with tears streaming down my face as I played the cd over and over. It didn’t shock me at that time that I had such strong emotions about the music coming from the speakers, but even now when I play it, that emotion is still there; still so real. That is the power of music.

Mix cd #2 and #3 - Given to me while in college. These two cds together compile some of the best and meaningful music I have in my collection. I haven’t listened to them in years; I have them tucked away in an old shoebox under my bed. Not sure why I’m keeping them if I don’t listen to them, but I can’t seem to let them go. I don’t even talk to the person who gave them to me. That is the power of music.

Mix cd #4 – Given to me by my sorority sisters at my senior ceremony (basically your last day as an undergraduate sister). This cd, although loved, is one of the strangest mixes I’ve ever heard. I really like when cds and play lists cross musical genres, but this cd is out there – even for my taste. It brings back memories of parties, laughs, dances and formals (of course, we’re sorority girls). I don’t have a lot of pictures from my college days (thanks to Meredith, I remember why) so this cd means a lot to me. It reminds me of the one of the best times of my life, a time that I don’t too often think about and tend to only remember the bad parts. That’s the power of music.

About 2 years ago, my best friend Julie got married. We were at the airport, picking up two of her bridesmaids and of course one had made a mix cd for Julie. It was all about marriage and love. I can remember thinking “wow, do they still sell blank cds?” It’s only gotten worse since then. I love the music on my iPod; I work hard to update it often, added the latest from the Billboard charts, songs heard on good tv shows or movies and recommendations from friends. That’s where I struggle; not that I don’t trust my friends sense of music (well some of them I do), but I have to shell out the 99 cents to purchase the song from iTunes just to listen to the whole song! Yeah, yeah, 99 cents isn’t a huge sum of money, but the point isn’t the money – it’s the music.

The Dance

I spend about 18 minutes of my 20 minute morning dog walk avoiding the people in my neighborhood. Only the first steps are still and calm.

Avoidance #1 – Weird Guy who’s daughter comes and knocks my door to “play”. This guy doesn’t even technically live in my neighborhood. It all started about 3 years ago when he saw us outside our house with our two dogs. He came walking over, allowing his dog (which he thinks is the same breed as mine – ps: he isn’t) to play with my dogs. Harmless enough, but that was only the beginning. It sort of morphed into this obsession, where he and/or his daughter, age 12, comes RUNNING over to our house the minute they see our door open. His daughter has knocked on our front door more times than I can count, always asking “can the girls (meaning my dogs) come out and play?” Really, you can’t make this up.

Avoidance #2 – Shortest guy on the planet with the ugliest Schnauzer I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure where this guy lives, but he makes ever effort to walk either by my house, linger on my corner or suddenly change directions to face me. Anyone who knows my dog Ellie, knows that she will not stand for that type of behavior. She hates that Schnauzer as much as I hate that guy. It’s like he’s totally oblivious to the fact that Ellie wants to eat his leg, or he just does it to really get under my skin. I think the latter.

Avoidance #3 – Lady scared of dog poop. About two alleys over there lives a lady who has two dogs. She walks them every morning and night; always the same route. She carries a poop contraption so she won’t have to lean over and pick up the poop with her bag-covered hand – like the rest of dog owners. I don’t really have a problem with the poop contraption, to each his own, but her dogs are so unruly; I don’t think she could control them without the poop contraption taking over her right hand. Oh yeah, not to mention she is typically on her cell phone.

Avoidance #4 – The children of the multi-family townhouse behind me. I call it the multi-family townhouse because neighborhood rumor had it that the owner of the 4 level townhouse divided up each floor and rented it out to a different family. Rumor, I know. Anyway, the kids are ridiculous. They see us all the time, well less now since I’m avoiding them daily, and every time they see us they ask “Oh, are those your dogs? What are their names?” But you have to picture those sentences coming out of the mouth of an obese 12 year-old with a smoker’s voice.

I know, but really, you can’t make this up.

The One

Do you really believe that there is only one person for everyone? One person that each one of us is destined to be with; like it’s somehow cosmically predetermined and life is just a series of events leading up to finding them in a sea of millions. That’s a hard concept for me to wrap my head around. I look at some of my married friends; the lives they lead before, the relationships and what they had to go through before they found the one.

Take my friend Jessie. She was in a relationship with Rusty; most of us thought that was it for both of them. He had an affair with her friend. Most of her friends knew what was happening and didn’t stop or tell her. That relationship ended. He moved on to marry another friend; she moved half way across the country and found the one. So her decision to move, leave her friends and family behind, had to be cosmically predetermined. All in the name of finding the one.

What if you miss your chance? What if the one, the cosmically predetermined person, already came into your life and you blew it? What if they were in your life but you never acted on the chance and now it’s passed. Will you get a second chance? How will the cosmically predetermined person re-enter your life, if they are really the one? Should you question each person from your past who crossing your path again? Are they the one? How will you know? Will there be a neon flashing sign above the person’s head – THE ONE, THE ONE, THE ONE, like something off the Las Vegas strip? Doubtful.

So, you have this person who you knew years ago, at a time in your life when things were changing. You were learning about yourself, about your life path, who you wanted to become and who you wanted to share in your memories. You lost touch, you reconnected several years later, you lost touch, you reconnected. Maybe your losing touch again. Are they the one? What if you can’t get them out of your head? Everything you see, hear, or do, make you think of this person. Anytime you have a free second your thoughts go to that person. Does that mean you should pose the question – is there a chance for us? Do you put yourself out there, allow yourself to be venerable in a situation that you can’t control? Do you leave it up to cosmically predetermined? What if they reject you? How many times does someone have to come back into your life, at exactly the moment you need them the most, before you really believe they are THE ONE?

Kiosks

In mid December, the HR department, spear-headed by the VP, met with the head of IT regarding a simple, small scale, IT project called Kiosks. The project design was simple: 8 computer kiosk stations, 4 in each of our two locations, 3 for employees without computer access and 1 for applicants (finally a paperless process). “That sounds pretty straight forward”, remarks the head of IT, “we’ll get a PM right one it and we’ll have it completed in about a month. Certainly by the last week of January.” Overwhelming applause from the HR department beaming with ideas of how they can better communicate to employees, increase their self-sufficiency, grant them access to information and complete a 100% paperless Open Enrollment. Open Enrollment was already scheduled and Kiosk’s delivery date was within that target, even had a few weeks of “wiggle room”.

During the month of January, the HR department started to see some motion on Kiosks. The PM, Casper, was assigned to Kiosks. He assembled an all-star team, Baldy, Big Guy, and Dumb-Dumb. Equipment was ordered, furniture was ordered, and locations were selected. Project updates were sent out almost weekly keeping all parties informed of the movement. The HR department quickly became buried in Open Enrollment activities, planning, packet assembly, the list is endless; the last thing on anyone’s mind was Kiosks. Thank god for the project updates; Casper appeared to be on top of things and required little involved from the HR department. Kiosks was under control and making progress.

Stations 1-4 were installed at location B three days before Open Enrollment, about one week behind the projected delivery date. Stations 1-4 were not intended to be installed before 5-8, but rather should have been installed simultaneously. Casper explained the installation of stations 5-8 would occur during the next week and was delayed due the furniture order. The project update confirmed the install date.

Mid-February rolled around and stations 5-8 have not been installed. Casper no longer sends out project updates. “Dear HR, Accounting needs to have 4 computers for the auditors who are arriving tomorrow and will be on site for 2 weeks. The only available computers are the ones for stations 5-8. Kiosks has been delayed”, wrote Casper. “We’re not happy,” was the general response from the HR department, “but it’s not like he gave us much of a choice.” “Kiosks will be completed once the accounting is through using the equipment. In the meantime, where do you want stations 5-8? Do the selected areas have electricity and Internet?” Wait, was Casper asking the HR department about electricity and Internet wiring? It’s called Human Resources for a reason, is electricity or Internet a human? “Casper, I really think that someone on your team is better equipped to answer. Aren’t you guys in IT?”

During the last week of February, Casper feels the project needs one more project manager to help tie up the loose ends; Peanut joins the squad. “HR, this is Peanut. He and Baldy are committed to completing Kiosks by the end of the week.” “Casper, you realize that it’s 2:45pm on Friday afternoon. By the end of the week, do you mean in the next 3 hours?” asked the HR department. “By the end week,” replied Casper. The HR department is finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. “Can you just clarify one last time where you want station 5, the application station?” he asked. Really? Do we have to really go through this again? “Casper, for the last time, I want station 5 in the lobby of location A against the plain blue wall”, remarked the HR department. “Like I said, Baldy said he’ll get it done today.”

Monday morning when the HR department reports to work, there is no station 5 in the lobby as confirmed by Casper and his team of clowns and of course, which has become the usually, no project update. It appears Kiosks will never get completed. Tuesday, no station 5, no word from Casper. The HR department was starting to think that Casper had left the building, for good.

Wednesday afternoon, a visitor to the HR department, a resident of the tent, but he’s old school so he’s not considered part of the problem, but more just part of the family. “I see station 5 is up,” he commented in passing with a side smile. “Effie, come back. Did you say that station 5 is up? I didn’t hear Peanut or Baldy out there.” called out the HR department. “Oh yeah, it’s up, but I don’t think you’re gonna like it. Station 5 is in the back of the building,” he smiled.

The HR department grows more irate with each sentence he utters; each flash of his pearly whites. The HR department walks to the back of the building to review the disaster that Kiosks has become. The HR department swings open the door, scans the room quickly and settles on station 5, set up on a table with a mismatched chair! “You’ve got to be kidding me,” screams the HR department, “it really is a tent full of clowns!”

“HR, I noticed that station 5 has been set up, however, the desktop image is an unapproved company logo and must be replaced immediately,” a quickly witted comment from a passerby.

“Dear Casper, I’ve noticed that station 5 is set up, in the wrong location using the wrong furniture. Station 5 needs to be moved by the end of the week, since it was promised for completion the end of last week. By the way, what is the status of station 6-8?” asked the HR department. In line the norm, Casper has yet to respond.
To be continued….

A Matter of Choice

Did you ever stop to think for a minute about choices? The choices you make that impact your life, changing your pattern or course. The choices that others make that impact your life, changing your pattern or course. The list of various choices you make just to get up in the morning or order a cup of coffee. Life simply put in a series of choices.

Each morning, you make a least 10 choices before you leave the house.
Hit the snooze?
Shower?
Thong or full butt?
Pants or skirt?
Button down, sweater, polo?
Man’s fossil, swatch or ladies fossil?
Color of ladies fossil?
Bobbie pin?
Boots or heals?
Go back to bed?

You haven’t even left your bedroom yet!

Let’s talk about Starbucks; right, I know what you’re thinking, Tom Hanks went over this same topic in an email to Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail. It bears a big truth. Even the most indecisive person can feel extremely decisive with one cup of coffee. Everyone knows that Starbucks is not just a cup of coffee but a place where you have to understand the menu, the ordering lingo and make 5 decisions in 2.5 seconds. Grande, non-fat, sugar free, caramel, extra hot, no foam.

What about those choices that have a greater impact then the color watch you wear or the amount of foam in your morning latte? I’m talking about those decisions that in an instant can change your fate. Your college choice, your 1st through 50th job, buying, presenting and accepting a diamond ring, saying I do, picking a house…the list is endless. Each choice, in a specific and unique way, changes your course, modifies your end goal and impacts yourself and those around you. You have control over these choices. You are driving the bus. Don’t get me wrong, decisions like these require a multitude of thought and consideration, but it’s your course; change it as you see fit.

There are choices that you make with others; choices you have a fifty-fifty stake in. Honeymoon destination, Saturday night movie, bread of dog, name of child, number of children, color of the living room…also an endless list. Choices made in a partnership can also impact your course, but in an effort to comfort you, the choice impacts the other person’s course equally.

There are choices that others make that directly impact you; might not even impact them or to the same degree. My roommates’ parents chose what college she went to. This decision, I agree a sick injustice to my roommate, impacted her course in a far greater way than her parents. The start of her adult life was chosen by someone else, with what I believe was little consideration of her feelings in the matter. Not only did her parents make choices her whole life molding her into the person they expected, but also now, this choice, to some, the first choice a child makes thrusting them into adulthood, was made by someone else; someone with little stake in the outcome. It really only impacted her parent’s checkbook.

Lastly, there are choices that impact your course, modify your faith, where you aren’t even in the passenger seat. You may not even know the choice maker at all. These choices can have the greatest impact on your future.

Life is a series of choices, made by you and made by others; some you can control but the scariest are the ones you cannot.

1999

This was orginially posted to my Facebook, borrowed or stolen from my friend Kate. It’s certainly more expaned here.

This is the summary of my senior year in high school. For those who knew me then, you will find it amusing and full of good memories. For those who didn’t know me then, it might give you a better picture of where I came from.

“Knowing where you come from is as important as knowing where you are going.”
Did you date someone from your school? No, I didn’t really date a lot in high school. I was obsessed with my friends. The boys in my group were the only ones I would have considered dating. We were such a tigh group of friends that dating would have just made things weird. Just ask Emily and Mark.

Did you marry someone from your high school? No. For those of you who know me, I’m sure you can think of the one person from high school I wouldn’t mind marrying. Too bad he now lives on the other side of country.

Did you car pool to school? No – that’s part of the charm of South Jersey – hanging out in parking lots. To get the most out of that expereince, you had to have your own ride. Car-pooling didn’t make it as cool.

What kind of car did you have? 96’ Purple Chevy Caviler that I bought from a friend

What kind do you have now? 07’ Jeep Compass

Its Friday night..where were you? I spent a lot of Friday nights at Mark’s house. Of course in the land of diners, we were usually on our way over the bridge for some late night grilled cheese and tomatoes! You can't get more Jersey

It is Friday night...where are you now? At happy hour with friends, desperately seeking Mr. Right Now.

What kind of job did you have in high school? Growing up on LBI, the only real job anyone could have was a summer job – and there were plenty of them. I worked at a local tee-shirt shop owned by a close family friend. I spent many hours with the stero cranked up sizing racks of LBI shirts or outside working on my tan. I should have used the time to read some books, but I always found better things to do.

What kind of job do you have now? I’ve been a corporate recruiter for a weight loss company for the past three years. I recently got promoted to HR Manager.

Were you a party animal? Heck no – but I made up for that in college. I was friends with too many “goodie” kids to be a party animal, but we made our own fun.

Did you play any sports? Varsity soccer

Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? 7th grade drop out

Were you a nerd? I certainly wasn’t a nerd, I didn’t always have my head stuck in books and I always had friends to hang around with. I stuck close to my good friend Nora my senior year. I had a lot of friends that didn’t go to my high school. I was certainly more popular in my head.

Can you sing the fight song? With all the football games I attended, I have no clue what the fight song is. I’m not even sure we have a chant. Needless to say, I didn’t go to the games for the football, but it was the place to see and be seen.

Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)? Mr. Jim McCabe because he was a normal person. He was our theater teacher, aren’t they always the best? He did sometimes rub his beard in a kind of creepy way, but everyone forgave him.

Where did you sit during lunch? I’m sure I sat at the same table every day, but almost 10 years later, I have no idea where that was.

What was your school's full name? Sounthern Regional High School

When did you graduate? June 1999

If you could go back and do it again, would you? I would go back if I could take the knoweldge and expereince I have gained since. Maybe 10 years isn’t that much life expereinces, but through college, being in a sorority, completing gradudate school and spending 3+ years in the “real world” you certainly learn some things. High school was an amazing coming of age story but I’m not certain that returning now it would be that great. I think I would be much more cautious and less likely to wear my heart on my sleeve.

If you could go back and do it again, what would you change? I would have purchased a flat iron and I would not experminted so much with my hair. I would have held on tigher to the friends that really mattered.

Did you have fun at Prom? Of course, I didn’t spend the night crying in the girl’s bathroom. We dropped our case of beer in the street on our way to prom. We didn’t rent a limo, I drove. I was co-chairman of the prom committee and we showed up late, smelling of beer. My date didn’t go to my high school. I had to wait in line for pictures. My date fell asleep in the backseat on the way home. We saw Austin Powers the next day. My date was the only one who was awake through the whole movie. I guess his nap was helpful!

Do you talk to the person you went to Prom with? I don’t talk to him everyday but he’s a great guy. If I needed him, I think he’d totally be there for me.

Are you planning on going to your next reunion? 10 years – why the heck not? I’m somewhat successful, I’d like to show that off. I went to college out of state which really hurt my high school friendships following graduation. I’d like to see everyone again, meeting spouses, kids, etc. It will be an exciting time. I’d love to see who is still holding a grudge against me too. It’s been 10 years – GET OVER IT!

Do you still talk to people from high school? Thanks to facebook.

What are some of your favorite memories?

My parking spot right next to Nora Cunningham
My 18th birthday party at Mark’s house – first time I bought a lottery ticket
Visiting Ron on his boat
Following Mark and Emily into “the field”
Our mission trip
Away games

One Stop Blog Boutique

I’m sure you have heard of the Style Network’s homegrown reality series Peter Perfect, featuring style guru Peter Ishkhans. For those of you scratching your head, here’s the high level synopsis: it’s a business/image makeover show. I understand that reality shows are the heart and soul of American TV land, but this concept of a business/image makeover show – haven’t we made over enough?

Let’s recap – we have:
What Not to Wear (can’t get enough of Stacy and Clinton)
How Do I Look (hosted by Blossom’s stepmother)
Queen Eye, formerly Queen Eye for the Straight Guy (so popular it changed names)
The Swan and Extreme Makeover (a way to promote plastic surgery in the US)
Extreme Makeover – Home Edition (hosted by former Trading Spaces carpenter Ty Pennington)
We Mean Business (like we didn’t get enough of Bill Rancic on The Apprentice)

And the newest edition – Peter Perfect. Peter Ishkhans, a British American reality star (sound like another else…), consider a Hollywood stylist to the stars, in 2007 opened Peter Ishkhans at Joseph Martin Salon in Beverly Hills.

I’m not saying that Peter Ishkhans isn’t a valid reality star; he’s a great character – kind of like a mini Sergeant Pepper (okay so I stole that image from a business owner who appeared on his show last week), but it’s a really good mental image. One would assume that Sergeant Pepper would have a reality show about running his salon.
Come on, that is a receipt for success when it comes to reality TV. Those of you who remember Blow Out on BRAVO know what I’m talking about. Jonathan Antin is a big a character as Peter Ishkhans – can’t get enough of that dude! “Ya know what I mean, chick?”

So what crazy network executive came up with the bright idea that Sergeant Pepper should have a reality show where he breezes into town in a stretch limo, gray suit, cobalt blue shirt, bring pink tie, two inch rolled pant cuffs and brown high heel boots? Pepper is an image consultant who believes that if you change your image you change your life. Great speech Pepper, but can you deliver?

In the most recent season, Pepper seems to turn every struggling business into a One Stop __________ Boutique. Let’s turn the world of retail into a One Stop __________ Boutique. You know that everyone needs to utilize a One Stop Party Boutique, a One Stop Sprit Boutique, a One Stop Auto Boutique and a One Stop Coffee Boutique every day! If it’s one stop, why do I have to do to 5 different places?


Now that’s Peter Perfect!