Tuesday, July 21, 2009

“My Autobiography” - Courtesy of various Facebook users

  1. Where did you take your profile picture? At Target in Owings Mills
  2. What exactly are you wearing right now? Black tank, green v-neck shirt, bright pink scarf, black suit and heels
  3. What is your current problem? There isn’t enough space to clearly explain
  4. What makes you happy most? Being at home with someone…
  5. What are you listening to at the moment? The copier, well copying
  6. Any celeb you would marry? Joshua Jackson, who doesn’t love Pacey Witter?
  7. Name someone with the same birthday as you? Bill Maher
  8. Ever sang in front of a large audience? Greek sign, but we mostly Mily Vinily’d it and laughed
  9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? There was a microsoft clip art character that looked just like me…but I think she retired. I can’t find her anymore
  10. Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows? Just Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… “Cheer up Charlie”
  11. How many languages do you speak? Uno
  12. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away? William E. Appleby – 1983 – 2001
  13. What’s your favorite band? DMB
  14. What's something that really annoys you? People that don’t ask questions, just assume and make bad decisions

Chapter 1:===============

  1. Middle name: Beth
  2. Nicknames: Mints and Peeping Tom (don’t ask)
  3. Current location: Office
  4. Eye color: Brown

Chapter 2:===============

  1. Do you live with your parent(s)? Negative
  2. Do you get along with your parent(s): Best friends
  3. Do you have any Siblings? Sister and brother

Chapter 3: Favorites===============

  1. Ice Cream: Soft serve Chochlate in a waffle cone with rainbow sprinkles…what can I say, my sister owns and ice cream shop
  2. Season: Winter
  3. Shampoo/conditioner: Big Sexy Hair ;)

Chapter 4: Do You?===============

  1. Dance in the shower? Nah
  2. Do you write on your hand? Always carry a note pad
  3. Call people back? Depends on how they sound on the message
  4. Believe in love: Yes
  5. Any bad habits: blow my nose in the shower

Chapter 5: Have You?===============

  1. Sprained stuff: ankles, wrists
  2. Broke a bone: fingers
  3. Had physical therapy: yep
  4. Gotten stitches: nope
  5. Taken painkillers: Yes
  6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling: neither, I can’t swim
  7. Been stung by a bee: yes and I totally FEAKED out
  8. Thrown up at the dentist: I avoid at all costs
  9. Sworn in front of your parents: Of course
  10. Had detention: I’m from New Jersey…what do you think?

Chapter 6: what/who was the last?===============

  1. Movie: Brokedown Palace
  2. Person to text? Alison
  3. Person you called: Alisa
  4. Person you hugged: Bobbie
  5. Person you tackled: Kaydee
  6. Person you talked to on Skype: Never have
  7. Thing you touched? keys
  8. Thing you ate? gum
  9. Thing you drank: diet pepsi
  10. Thing you said: “I wouldn’t drive to MDC everyday for a million dollars”

Chapter 7: Future===============

  1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Not at here ;)
  2. 10 years? Married with kiddies
  3. In 50 years? Still in love
  4. Where do you hope to live? Denver
  5. Do you want to be famous? Just to the people close to me
  6. Do you want children? sure
  7. Will you have plastic surgery? Maybe, but I’m not telling on what ;)

Monday, July 20, 2009

Dos Equis and Human Resources...Only in 2009

Okay – so I read an HR blog every day, or as often as there is an update posted which comes to be via email just like my CNN breaking news alerts. I do this for a few reasons:
1) interesting reading to me, good topics that often raise my eyebrow
2) guest author’s which give a different voice to the writing keeping me panting for more
3) he/she (not sure if it’s a man or woman writing it) is just plain funny and you know how much I love humor

At 10:18am just when my case of the Monday’s started to hit its stride, I see the alert. I stop in mid-work load and click; I can’t wait to read it, can you tell I’m from the digital age of instant gratification. I open it and just the headline has me wanting more – The Most Interesting Person – In the HR World. I think to myself, “wait, I didn’t do an interview”. I read on, heat in Houston, humidity in Houston, dreaming of beer. I’m starting to wonder what this has to do with HR, after all, it’s not often that beer and HR share the same sentence! It’s about a Dos Equis ad series that has been airing nationally since earlier this year. Dos Equis – the cool labeled, green bottled beer that everyone loves to consume in mass quantities on Cinco Da Mayo (never been a supporter – my Mexican beer of choice will always be Corona)! I’m starting to believe that my blogger has a worse case of the Monday’s that I do, already planning out next weekend, which is a long FIVE days away!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bc0WjTT0Ps

I read on…

He/She spins it, quoting the ad series as inspiration to spoof the one-liners transforming it’s context to the HR world rather than the swave beer drinking Spaniard. One-liners, which after reading, re-reading and re-reading again, fit me like a glove, to the point where I’m laughing so much people walking by actually think I enjoy my job!

“Her perfume smells like hot dogs at the company picnic” – You know that’s true, even though Medifast doesn’t promote consuming multiply hot dogs due to the unhealthy contents.

“Her charm is so contagious, special health benefits coverage has been created for it” – It’s not cheap, but getting it pre-tax is a nice break.

“The police often question her, just to hear ER stories” – The people who work here know the truth behind this one.

“She’s a lover, not a fighter; but don’t tempt her with a late performance evaluation” – I spent the better part of the morning sending our reminders to managers – can I get a HELL YA!!

“She’s so good at her job, she made Donald Trump realize the need to fire his own children” – Think about working at an organization that along with the corporate org chart, they had you a family tree!

“Her career advice, “Find out what you don’t do well in life and then outsource it” – Get a contract, negotiate them to a below fair market price than try to slash it even further – remember HR contributes to the bottom line.
“Her reputation is expanding faster than HR pros on Twitter” – what I can say, people around here just know who to go to get stuff done, done right and done on time.

“If she were to give you directions to an interview, you’d never get lost, you’d arrive at least 5 minutes early and you’d already have landed the job” – have you ever noticed that sometimes my voice sounds like a cross between the Garmin navigation lady, your mother and your high school guidance counselor?

“She has read the Wall Street Journal, HR Magazine, Business Week and Fistful of Talent before the average HR person has turned on their Blackberry” – okay, so not everything on this list is true

“Her advice on HR life, “It’s never too early to start beefing up your LinkedIn profile” – Due to recent events, I decline to comment.

There you have it folks, the most interesting HR person in the world – ME! I wonder if we are all this interesting and exciting – I can think of one that isn’t. Courtesy of Fistful of Talent (www.fistfuloftalent.com)